Want to see a crap ex-Engand football manager make a fool of himself? Pop over to this post “Shteve ish a bit ridiculoush” at the Hagley Road to Ladywood blog, for a Youtube clip of Steve McClaren giving an interview in English, with a Dutch accent.

“Have a lishten… and tell ush what you think”

Suitable material for a blog post here (PS. — yes, it is annoying that tabloid fuckwits don’t seem to grasp what a fucking paragraph is — take it up with them — not me if you please).

“Firstly, we look at appearance.

“A pint should be clear and polished, not dull and cloudy.

“Secondly, we test the temperature using a special gauge.

“There’s a massive misconception that real ale is served warm.

“Actually it should be between 11 and 13 degrees, which is chilled.

“Thirdly, we check the aroma.

“A vinegary smell suggests the beer is old, a yeasty Marmite smell indicates a hygiene problem.

“Sometimes you also get a medicinal smell of TCP if the lines from the keg have been tainted during cleaning.

“Last of all, you take a taste.

“Real ale should tingle on your tongue. If it doesn’t, it’s too old.

“Unlike wine buffs, beer testers do have to swallow the product.

“That’s because the sense of bitterness is located at the back of the tongue, and it’s a key component of ale’s complex flavour.”