Ooh — a section on The Yarts … a subdomain even! A fully self-facilitating media node
by Will, 3 July 2008
Pretentious, puffed up wank and tosspottery
The mainstream media has long seen blogging … (cut the crap and get on with it – ed)…
OK - The Drink Soaked Trots are proud to announce their new porn section. Just watch our Google ads income soar as we copy page 3, starting with a topless shot of our own Gadgie – a big man in more ways than one, wink, wink. There will be a range of erotic posts from our regular writers such as Beaver Boy and Shaggy the Scottish dwarf.
Then there is our new saucy tales feature… That section is blank at the moment but hang on in there - you never know…
No. 1 Revolutionary Romps:
Fiona McPosh always felt drawn to the man with the deep, sensitive camel eyes. “Tell me once more how you would eliminate the bourgeoisie”, she lisped suggestively. “Why aye man, I’ll shoot all the fuckers in the heed”, he replied firmly. She moistened, burning with passion deep inside. Her nipples tightened against her flimsy night attire as he scratched his manhood in a suggestive manner. Surely now was the moment to reveal … (to be continued)
Coming next on DSTPFW Porn. Zionist sex, for those of you with a pioneering spirit; Christopher Hitchens’ top tips for erotic satisfaction; metrosexual lust - passion amongst the media folk; and so much more for you perky popinjays.
I bet you can’t fucking wait you slags.
Thursday 3 July 2008 at 11:46
I bet you can’t fucking wait you slags.
Well I can’t speak for anyone else but I certainly can’t: I feel my pulse quickening and my heaving breasts have become moist with perspiration.
Thursday 3 July 2008 at 14:01
I was already drooling, that before opening the comments, and now Shuggy’s wet tits are all over my screen…
Thursday 3 July 2008 at 16:37
Extra wonderful news is that coming soon will be a Ms Harry section for all the little ladies, with lots of articles on wash care symbols and knitting patterns and a handy conversion chart for your au pairs to use when working out oven temperatures in centigrade. In the first issue I’ll be presenting recipes for your Filipina cooks to try on High Holidays and a can’t-do-without-guide ‘Hasbara for Women Whatever the Atrocity’.
DT - HP for the Fair Sex (incorporating Junior Miss)
Thursday 3 July 2008 at 17:32
and now Shuggy’s wet tits are all over my screen…
They’re fabulous, aren’t they? It’s a shame the folks at home can’t see them.
Thursday 3 July 2008 at 19:17
Hey Will great idea !
Its a specialist market .
Friday 4 July 2008 at 1:32
I have a lot of hate inside me.
just saying like.
Friday 4 July 2008 at 9:31
It seems to be seeping out.
Politics, art, porn, it’s all semiotics innit?
Friday 4 July 2008 at 9:38
Well done, Trot Sots. Everyone knowds art is what you do when you can’t get sex, once more you have got to the heart of the matter. Who wants painting, film, poetry, plays etc when you can see pictures of people doing it?
Friday 4 July 2008 at 12:39
In the matter of art and people doing it, I submit “Made In Heaven” by Jeff Koons for your consideration. Just not while at work.
Friday 4 July 2008 at 14:20
As a middle aged lady of puritan tastes, I am afraid I refuse to look at dirty pictures, Mr Dirigible. Have you got one of a fluffy kitten?
Friday 4 July 2008 at 14:31
Friday 4 July 2008 at 14:54
Aw, Bless.
Friday 4 July 2008 at 14:57
“As a middle aged lady of puritan tastes, I am afraid I refuse to look at dirty pictures”
As a middle aged ‘lady’ of odd tastes , certainly not puritan, i’ll look at the ‘dirty’ pics ;-)
Friday 4 July 2008 at 14:59
Will
Pics of kittens, you’re going soft man .
Friday 4 July 2008 at 15:14
Friday 4 July 2008 at 19:51
OOOH! You wicked man!!! I feel quite overcome….
Friday 4 July 2008 at 19:53
YOU’RE SICK111
Friday 4 July 2008 at 19:54
Sorry, those should be exclamation marks in the above post. You get my gist anyway.
Friday 4 July 2008 at 22:49
Hang on, if every time you masturbate God kills a kitten what happens- never mind.
Click for Koons. (Inlining images never works for me). Not safe for work. Unless you work at a porn research unit or at somewhere paid for by the Arts Council.