One thing leads to another. An item on Five Live news about the Fairytale of New York leads to the BBC1 singles chart and the discovery that Eva Cassidy and Katie Melua (passim here) currently have the best-selling UK single, a disgusting, saccharine puddle of mawk-porn, which will be in use by torturers in sensory-deprivation cells before the second week of January–count on it. While Cassidy is, at least, able to sing, Melua’s voice has the quality of that ambulance or police car siren which goes off two feet behind you in the street without any warning.

‘Oh it’s for charity.’ And? Here’s an idea no one’s ever come up with before today–find your local Red Cross office and hand them a fiver. Cut out the middleman and prevent the senseless waste of polycarbonate, aluminium, shiny CD insert paper and ink.

Here is a version of the same song–which genuinely celebrates life–by a man who was about to die.